The past 5 years I’ve had a pretty ordinary moment happen every few months. It’s become part of my life and one I was hoping was going to come to an end. This week was a week I’d been longing for for 5 whole years. It was supposed to be discharge week from the hospital. It didn’t happen.
It’s typical, I’ve waited five years and then six weeks before I’m discharged I notice something and that something is being looked at. A mole appeared, which didn’t look too great. Appeared out of nowhere and thats a pretty big thing for someone thats been told they had skin cancer.
Tuesday morning I was so excited to finally be rid of the hospital visits but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m back in 3 months. Even though I was expecting it, it sort of hit me like a train. I found it really hard to digest. Not because I needed to go back but because I had it in my head I was being discharged.
I need to push it back and forget about it, because it will play havoc with my mental health. Life is cruel, life is so so cruel and just when you think you’re winning your knocked off that pedal stool and feel yourself right back to square one. I’m hoping there is no change.
3 months is a long wait for someone as anxious me. I had a pretty big meltdown, cried most of the day if Im honest. But friends talked down and I soon came to realise that all is not bad. It’s good. I am being looked after, checked on and hopefully in 3 months it will be my day, and I will be free of hospitals and doctors.
If you want to find out more about The Ordinary Moments, the pop over to Donna’s blog here